Meet Iona... (Corner Confessions)
A VIGNETTE FROM 'IONA' IN CORNER CONFESSIONS
“So, he went home to Cathy and married her?” Steph asked.
“Yep, just as he promised, but of course, he left out the juicy details,” Iona traced imaginary lines on the table with her fingers.
“Yes, I suppose he did.”
“Mmmm hmmmm, then give it a year or two and Cathy’s daughter decides to move from Des Moines to Louisville, Kentucky for a job transfer. She’s out there for a while, and Cathy gets distressed over missing her only child and her only grandchild so she convinces my loser father-in-law to pick up and move to Kentucky because there really isn’t any reason for them to be in Iowa anymore. So, they do and they wind up building a huge house out there which eventually Cathy’s daughter moves into with the grandchild because it is a definite upgrade compared to the hole-in-the-wall apartment she’s been living in, in a nearby town,” Iona said, starting to chuckle again.
“Oh… I’m guessing that didn’t go over too well?” Steph commented, starting to laugh.
“Yep. So well in fact, my father-in-law ended up spending another one million building a nearly identical house for Cathy’s daughter in the same neighborhood to get her and the grandchild out of the house.”
“And… I’m lost again. How did that happen? Why did that happen?” Steph asked, confusion in her voice.
“Well, my father-in-law didn’t want two additional people in the house; one being a kid who was loud and rambunctious, and the other one who didn’t like him and couldn’t control her kid. So, he moved them out,” Iona explained.
“Yeah, you move them out of the house, but most people wouldn’t go and build someone they don’t like a one million dollar house.”
“But he’s not like everyone else. He has money… illegally obtained… and hidden… from the US government, among others…” Iona said slowly, giving Steph time to catch up.
After a moment of taking Iona’s words in, Steph’s eyes widened. “Ahhhh…. Oooohhhhh! Blackmail! She blackmailed him! Oh my gawd!!! Is that it?!”
“Yep,” Iona’s eyes gleamed. “Cathy started figuring out that maybe her one true love wasn’t all that true, so she put a private investigator on him for a while, and found out he’s a philanderer… The same way she showed up in his life was the same way countless women were being churned through his personal turnstyle on nearly a weekly basis. So, their marriage started falling apart and they started living separate lives.”
“So… why didn’t they get a divorce?”
“He can’t divorce her because she knows too much and for protection purposes, should something ever happen to her, Cathy’s daughter knows everything and holds the videotaped evidence of what all went down according to Cathy, all the transactions she made at his request – including the Donna transactions; she literally had him by the balls.”
“Karma sucks for some people, doesn’t it?” Steph said, a smile growing on her face.
“Yes, it does! And for all the rest of us, we just laugh and laugh and laugh…” Iona smiled, looking satisfied.
Steph took this opportunity to laugh along with Iona as she leaned back in her chair, too, thinking she had heard everything.
“But that’s not where the story ends… There’s more,” Iona said, taking another sip of her coffee.
Steph stopped laughing and sat up straight, “What do you mean: there’s more?”