My thoughts on food.

First of all, I don't go shopping very much.  I don't like to shop.  This includes 'shopping' of any kind including grocery stores and stopping at gas stations.  If I have to park somewhere, walk into a building, jockey with other people while being inside this building (or outside of it), pay money that I'd rather keep, haul my purchased crap back out to my car, drive home and deal with 'other drivers', carry my new purchases into the house... and then have to put all of it away, which is akin to 'cleaning' in my book, then it classifies as 'shopping', and I don't like it.

But when I do go shopping for food, I learned a long, long time ago (when the dinosaurs were still flying around) that if you keep to the perimeter of the store and avoid the aisles, you stand a better chance of eating well.  Healthy foods are on the perimeter, and the sugary manufactured crap is on the inside aisles.  I can't remember the last time I had mac-n-cheese or spaghetti, and up until 3 years ago, I had never had either Hamburger Helper or Spam.  I don't drink pop, I don't buy cookies, and ice cream and chips, etc.  I do visit the toilet paper aisle because...  toilet paper - better than sliced bread.  And I do buy coffee and cocoa - both of when I usually forget that I even bought; I've had entire large cans of coffee go stale, and my kids usually consume the cocoa.

One may ask, how in the world do I forget about what I bought?  Well, it's due largely in part because I have kids.  A typical grocery trip for me (I generally only go grocery shopping when the kids are hungry and they have depleted all of the food sources in the house) consists of one kid pushing the cart and the other kid throwing their food choices into the cart and that dynamic may switch up a couple of times while we're in the store.  But I rarely ever push the cart, put my hands on the cart, do anything with the cart while we're there, and I also don't pluck anything off the shelves - I point my fingers or bark a (pleasant) command, and the item magically appears in the cart...  (If I didn't have my kids along, I would be so lost!)  ;-)

At the register, my kids either line the items up on the conveyer belt or scan the items themselves, bag and put everything back in the cart.  Then they step aside.  I move in with the money, make the purchase, and then we all go back outside to the car where I immediately get in and the kids load the trunk and put the cart away.

I do nothing with anything at the store except walk around and pay, and most often chat with at least 3 people I know while out on the public excursion - my kids are convinced I know everyone, and they're probably correct in that assumption.  When we get home, they bring in the groceries and put them away; I walk in the house and go back to work.

So, in reality, it doesn't really sink in that I bought anything, I don't know what was purchased, I viewed the entire errand as a disruption in my work time, and there you go.  Quite frankly, my life would work a lot better if we had one of those Star Trek Food Replicators in the house.  I'd be all over that!

I will also add, my two kids are teenage boys, which means if it's not nailed down, it's gone within a matter of hours to days.  Even if it's labeled with my name, I have become so oblivious/forgetful as to what's in the kitchen that I simply forget what was purchased, they eat it, and I'm none the wiser. 

Additionally, I don't cook.  I don't bake.  I really have no idea how to turn my oven on.  Seriously.  So, unless it can be opened and eaten, it's not happening.  The kids make their own food.  I do know how to use a microwave, but most of my foods are cold or room temp except for the coffee I make but then forget to drink because I'm busy working.  ;-) 

When I do venture into the kitchen to 'find' food, I eat at my desk mainly because there's nowhere else to eat in the house; I don't adhere to the idea of needing furniture.  I don't have a TV, either.  I have my beloved desk - Command Central - where it all happens, and also where I eat.  (At least I don't have a mini-fridge over here - no room for it.)

But throughout the day, it's water and fruits/veggies. yogurt in the morning, minimal salads because I'm not going to spend 40 minutes putting together a fancy-looking salad - no time for such frivolities in life.  My sushi at least 3 times per week for dinner, otherwise salads and fruit and veggies on the other evenings, and that's about it.

So, in case anyone decided they would 'assume' that I had poor eating habits filled with chips, soft drinks, energy drinks (have never had a Monster or any other type of sports drink in my life - had a sip of a Gatorade around 30 years ago; it didn't impress me, and that was the end of that.)

I don't bake cakes and cookies and pudding and I've never made a successful bowl of Jell-O in my life, and Rice Krispie bars absolutely befuddle me!  The last pan attempted was nearly 30 years ago...  Didn't turn out so well.  Gave up.

I burn popcorn.  I'm not interested in standing in the kitchen to make muffins and biscuits, and whatever else people make.... and I'm definitely not interested in making a mess only to have to clean up the mess.  I can think of so many other things to do with my time!

Lastly, back in 1985, someone pointed out, 'If you wouldn't wash your face in it, then why would you put it in your body?'  Good question.

If you're curious as to what this is all about, please click here:

Kiersten Hall